Trigger words

I think it's human nature to remember the good things from your childhood. It's funny how much you can forget about, and then one day, something pops into your head and it brings a smile to your face. This happened to me the other day. The word was Gooch. I heard someone say it on the radio.

As an only child of a single mother, I had the privilege of spending a lot of time with close relatives. I really do mean privilege. My mother was working her ass off to provide us our "three hots and a cot". We had lots of great relatives that were willing to help us out, all the time. They all helped me to become what I am today. So, if you don't like me, it's their fault. That was a (bad) joke.

I have lots of fond memories of my Aunt Diane. She is always so gentle and sweet and always full of love.. When she laughs, you can't help but to laugh with her. I can't remember ever seeing her mad. When I was a wee little boy, she used to take me everywhere. I will always remember her taking me to have picnics in the woods behind her house. Some may say this wasn't very manly. I disagree. She didn't know it, but, she was teaching me manliness by exposing me to some of the things I love most to this very day. I love the outdoors. Food always tastes better outside. I love to just sit and "shoot the breeze". What is better than sitting outside talking to a beautiful woman while eating some good food? I'll say, "Not too much".

I've had lots and lots of influences in my life. This was just one. I can't wait to remember more.
Thanks Aunt Diane. I sure do love you. Thank you.

Oh yeah, Aunt Diane had a cat named Gooch.

Nine

Thanks to my great friend Matt Mengel for this photo.

Nine years ago. Wow. Nine years ago Mrs. Mike and I got hitched. I'm not sure what to say. I love her the same as I did then. We have a beautiful son, a couple of (pain in the ass) dogs, and a cat that won't die, a house, and two cars. Complete with all the debt you could ever need. Yep, it's the American Dream. We've been through some really crazy times, some really hum-drum boring times. The best thing is, we are going through it all together. Wouldn't ever ask for anything more.

Hoof and Mouth

Something odd happened to me today. I'm not sure this is gonna come out, but, here goes.

Oh boy! Where to start? I'll give a quick rundown of the layout of our men's room in the warehouse. This little room is one of the most poorly designed I have personally seen. The person that drew up the floor plan should have every license they  hold stripped away from them. Yes, even their drivers license. This person is quite possibly too dumb to operate a motor vehicle. OK. Enough with personal thoughts for now. The whole room is maybe 7' X 12'. The door swings inward with the hinges on the right side. Immediately, the sink is too the left. While standing at the sink, you will be clobbered by the door if somebody else tries to come in. They have managed to squeeze in two urinals and a sit down stall in this room also. I am a pretty wide dude. I have to shrug my shoulders to fit in the urinal stalls. Seriously, I feel like Tommy Boy when he is changing clothes in the airplane bathroom. If there were three grown men in this room at the same time, nobody could move.

Today, I wanted to use this restroom. I opened the door and almost knocked the person on the other side of the door to the ground. He almost fell, not because I opened the door too fast or with too much force. He almost fell because he was standing on one foot!!! He was standing on one foot because he was washing his disgusting, dirty, stinky, gross, effing FEET in the sink!!! It took a second for me to catch on. At first, I apologized and then I realized what was going on. He said, "It is OK, come in.'" Like I was interrupting him. I just freakin' lost it. I'm sure I went a little overboard. I just couldn't get over it. This person was a truck driver that was picking up at the warehouse. I let it be known that wasn't a gosh darn truck stop! I have to wash my hands and face in that sink. What in hell would make someone think this is acceptable? I mean, come the F on!! If he would have asked if there was a place to wash his feet, someone might have shown him the shower room. Again, this isn't the Flying J. It is a working warehouse.

I am so sick and tired of having to be tolerant of every other religion and culture and their traditions and customs. It's not that I don't want to accept and/or respect them. I personally think that some cultures have a better handle on some things. I won't bore you with a butt load of examples (eye for an eye). I just don't understand why I (the conservative Christian American) have to be so tolerant, all the while, every other religion and culture refuses to respect and/or accept my beliefs. That is very un-American. Very, dare I say, liberal. Same thing, isn't.

 Enough politics. Just ask someone nicely for something. You'll be surprised how often you will get what you asked for. Just because you think it's OK, doesn't mean it is OK.

One more thing. Mrs. Mike thinks she looks like Miss Jamaica. While I think Mrs. Mike is a beauty, I don't think she looks anything like her. Miss Jamaica isn't as pretty.

Shootin' blanks

I sat down to write tonight. That is all...

Smile for me Dad!! Show me your grill!!

I came home today and walked up the back steps and looked at the broke ass grill for about the 100th time this summer. Something finally snapped in my head. I thought to myself, F this, you should be grilling tonight! That is exactly what you are gonna do. Go get the cussin' thing before you change your mind.

Last week we got our "bonus checks" from work. It is actually a "share of the profits". They keep telling us how strong our company is, and how we are making money hand over fist. We are putting money in the bank because there is so much of it, we don't have anything else to do with it. Why is it the profit share only gets smaller? Don't get me wrong. I am in no way complaining. If it was $3.67, that's $3.67 more than I had when I woke up that day. I am no fool. There are people that are gonna go to work tomorrow and find out it is their last day. I would trade in the cash tomorrow if someone could assure me that I will have my job for the next ten years. Anyway, the point was supposed to be, I had the check and I should use it to buy something I normally wouldn't. So, I did, and now Ima grillin'.

I have not grilled with charcoal in about fifteen years. I figured I should start with some burgers. I don't think I could live with myself if I ruined a $10 steak. They came out perfect and Mini Mike said it was the best thing he has ever eaten. He might have been stretching it a little. He likes to make people feel good. He succeeded. Good kid, he is. After all is said and done, I'm happy with my new piece of manliness and so are Mrs. Mike and Mini Mike. I can't wait till tomorrow to try something else.

Nothing new with the "Rattle Can Restoration" of the tractor. I'll spend a couple hours on it this weekend. For those of you that don't know us personally, Mrs. Mike is training for the Chicago Marathon. She has a 16 miler this weekend. That will be a perfect time for some garage time. I sure am proud of her. She is doing it for nothing else but the challenge. Good for her.

I kinda shot to all fields on this one. I'm a ramblin man today. That was really dumb. I'm done now.

Thanksgiving in August?

this photo has nothing to do with the post

I mentioned the other day, I cleaned the garage. Mrs. Mike came out and looked through the "garage fridge" and found a turkey breast in the back of the freezer. She thawed it out, rubbed some seasoning all over it and cooked that bad dude in the crock pot all day. Hello triptophan. Home made taters & home made gravy. That was some good schtuff. I had to go out to the garage to work on the tractor. Otherwise, my big ass woulda been planted on the couch and snoring by 6:30.

The tractor project is poking along. I'm getting something done every day, however small it may be. Mini Mike has been helping out too, between his (self proclaimed) 3rd gear pinned speed sessions around the yard and back forty. I will have some pictures soon. Yesterday, I found out the hard way, a 3400 r.p.m. wire wheel + knuckle = ouchsonofabitch!  I'll take a picture of that too.

I'm feelin' it.

My good friend Surly gave me a plug today and wrote a rather interesting post. It seems, that he too, has been struggling with these blog thingies. As I said before, this is my third attempt. The first one was OK but I thought I wanted one that I could spout off about my conservative politics and all around hatred for the way our country is spiraling down the crapper. (I promised Mrs. Mike I would not do that to our blog) Well, the only thing that did was make me an angry bazz-turd. It was also becoming a chore to sit down in a small room with a chair that reminded me of work and write something interesting. I just decided to delete them both and start over some day. So after talking about it, and saying I would do it a hundred times, I started a new blog and decided it would be fun to just ramble about things. If only three people ever read it, so be it. This time, I look forward to writing stuff down and I feel good about it. Oh yeah, I got a laptop, so I can sit on my comfy couch instead of the "computer room".

some gratuitous cursing

Thanks again Surly!! Not only for the plug, but, you actually inspired me to do this. You will have to take the full blame for this one.

Bucket Lists

sorry about the quality

Most people have a "bucket list". You know what it is. It's pretty cliche. I call it " The list of things I want to do before I take the big dirt nap." I will have to post that list someday. Not today.

I do have a bucket list. Mine is not like others, though. Mine is more like a "list of buckets". I have a bucket for the car washing stuff, one for the tools I need to put away, one with John Deere parts, a couple with toys, etc. I even have an empty bucket I use for cleaning the gutters, but it mostly gets used as a seat or step stool or as a stand to set other buckets on. So, I have decided to do something about the buckets and the all around mess I call my garage.

Until about four hours ago, we could not park more than one car in our three car garage. I don't mind parking in the driveway, except for one thing. There is a maple tree and a walnut tree that hang over the driveway and make a mess of everything. I also found a work bench under an enormous pile of stuff. Now, I can work on the work bench. I put a bunch of stuff out by the road and within an hour someone else was happy with the crap that was driving me bonkers. Good deal.

Again, sorry about the quality

One of the things on my list "otiwdbitadn" is to restore the John Deere 110 that Mrs. Mike's grandpa left me. It is a 1969 model. I told Grandma I would get it done before she dies. I don't see her dying soon, but, I do want to get it done for her. It is uncovered and started. Here we go.

Now we're cookin' with gas. Not.

I have recently become interested  obsessed with purchasing a new grill.

In a previous part of my life, I was in the military and was station on the North Carolina coast. I bought my very first gas grill from Wally World for about $90 and cooked proudly for a couple years. One evening, while watching Hurricane Fran bend the neighbor's pine trees over to the ground, I noticed a grill rolling down the street. That sucks for whoever owns that grill is what I was thinking. Then, you guessed it, I realized that was my grill tumbling and sliding down the street. So, I went out in the hurricane and got my grill back. It still worked after it dried out and I put the lava rock back in it. In fact, It still worked, without a single part being replaced, 5 years later when I gave it to a friend. They don't make em' like they used to.

Mrs. Mike and I have been living together since just before the millennium. We have owned three gas grills. Two of them were purchased (for over $275 each) and one was given to us after I refused to fix the second one. The third has turned me to a Gas grill hating SOB. One can only replace so many burners, knobs, grates, heat exchanging flavor plates, and regulators before you say, "Cuss it!!" and go back to charcoal. I love the taste of charcoal. I hate the taste of lighter fluid. So I have decided to hunt for The Performer.  I have been dropping all kinds of obnoxious hints to Mrs. Mike. If she buys it, I won't feel guilty for spending a bunch of money on something I want. (yes, we have a joint checking account) We have an acquaintance that works at a local hardware store. He can get us last years model for about$220. I sure do hate to drop that kinda dough, but there are very few parts to break and it has a lifetime warranty. All I really need to do is keep the bag of charcoal dry and a little propane bottle handy and we are cooking in twenty minutes.

Hopefully, I will be cooking Labor Day Steaks on an "already seasoned" new grill.

Opening Day

OK...So here we go again.  This is my 3rd attempt at a blog.  The 1st was my wife's. She was using it to lurk other blobs, so I stole it and started writing. I then attempted my own. I tried to be funny with the title and it was a big fail. It seems I was trying too hard and it became a chore to write. I deleted both of them and I have decided to try again.

I want this to be a "diary" of some sorts. Diaries are not meant to be public, I know, but I like to share almost everything I do or have. So I will have some fun and I hope others might enjoy reading about the crazy stuff that happens to me.

I will write about work, family, friends, church, just life type things. It won't always be pretty. I WILL use some colorful language. If this bothers you, please don't read. I WILL NOT be using real names.
IMPORTANT!!! The views expressed in this blog are MINE. They DO NOT represent anyone else, only me.