Pay up Sucka

I am a fan of  MMA. That would be mixed martial arts. I have always enjoyed boxing. I won't start the debate over which is better. About two years ago, I decided to buy a UFC pay per view event. I have been hooked ever since. I will purchase and watch every event I can, if I think the card is worth it and I have the money to do so. I like to sit in my own ass print on my own couch. Others may choose to go to a bar or Hooters. I find it cheaper to stay home. Also, I feel sorry for the waitress that has five tables, each with six douchebags, that run her ass in to the ground for four hours and leave her a $12 tip. That's per table, not customer. Disagree? Ask someone that has worked for this kind of establishment before.

Last week, I watched UFC 119, an I was horribly disappointed. I thought the card was good. It just turned out to be lackluster. A fellow Facebooker mentioned something about the suckiness. Don't laugh, that is an awesome word. Anyway, I replied to him. I joked that I wanted to call the president of the UFC and demand my money back. He replied,"Whoa dude! Who pays for that stuff anyway?" Then he posted a link to a website that streams it for free. Illegally, of course. I'm gonna try to explain my feelings on this topic.

First; Why would I want to watch it on a 17" monitor. I have a big ass TV that sits in front of my ass print. I'm not very techy, so I don't have internet hooked up to the TV.  There is also a bigger and better reason that I pay for these events. It is the same reason I buy music. I pay, because it's the right thing to do. These men (and women) train and work their asses off for these competitions. The ultimate prize is, of course, victory. There is also some pay that goes along with it. They don't do it for free. This is their product, like a photographer's photos are a writer's music or literature. They produce it, and should be paid for it. It's really easy to say, "They are all over paid anyway!" Would you say that if you were in the same position? Or, more likely, would you want to "get paid". You and I have had the exact same opportunity to excel at any craft we want. Some have the talent, desire, and drive. Some don't. Some make it, some don't. It's really that simple.
This friend with the free link, he works for one of the "big three" auto makers. I wonder what he would say if every fourth or fifth automobile was taken off the line and given away. Or better yet, given to someone that is getting paid to give your product away. That is how these free streaming sites do their business. They get paid by advertisers to give stolen stuff away.  I don't know. I'm thinking, treat others the way you want to be treated. I don't look down on this guy. It's just not for me.

I don't know if, at any time, my incoherent rambling made any sense to anybody. I do know, somebody agrees with me. I just can't get the thoughts out of my head and on to the screen. Whatever. Do the right thing.

Customer service

Today, Mrs Mike participated in a charity event in Chicago. Mini Mike and I went along for support, and to pet all the dogs and get free stuff. Getting there was the hard part.

So, it's Sunday morning. The three of us stayed up late last night. No reason. We were just hanging out. The alarm went off at 5:30 a.m. and Mrs Mike promptly hit the snooze button. We wanted to leave the house by 6:30 a.m. At 6:12, I woke up in that panic mode. You know what I'm talking about. HOLY EFFIN HECK! We need to get going! We made it out of the house by 6:45. Not bad.

We decide to take The Skyway. For those of you not familiar, the Skyway is a toll road that is connected to the Indiana Toll Road. On a good day, it is the fastest way to get to Chicago from here. To make this a fast trip, you need to pay attention to what you are doing and be awake. I wasn't any of that this morning. First, I took the wrong exit, then I missed the exit I needed to correct my first mistake. I removed my head from my ass and got us pointed in the right direction. As I said earlier, we were late, and hungry. Just after you cross the state line, there is a McDonalds in the middle of the toll road, just before the toll plaza. We decided to stop for some grease and OJ.

There were only two cars in the drive-thru. Let's try it. Ten minutes later, it is our turn. I ordered three breakfast meals, all with OJ, and four extra hash browns. Why so many hash browns? Because they are awesome and Mini Mike will eat 12 of them if I let him. My order pops up on the screen and appears to be correct. Cool, drive up to the second window please. Five minutes later, the two cars ahead of us are still there. Oh boy. What did we do to ourselves? We get to the window just in time to hear the well mannered woman working the window reprimanding a customer in her finest south side ghetto accent. She says, "Sir, I said just a minute! You need to be patient wif me. You are not the only customer I have. There be udders in front of you. I be right wif you when I can." At this time my wife and I are sitting there with our jaws hitting the floor. The woman looks at me and rambles something that resembles the dollar amount from the screen at the ordering speaker thingy. I handed her my debit card. She snatched it out of my hand and snaps,"Oh, you be payin' wif credit!?" I watch her go to the counter and bring up my order on the register, She then walks around the other side of the counter and swipes my card. Then, she has to go back to the register and press a button before she goes back to the other side of the counter to hit another button! Are you kidding? I'm afraid not. She gets done with the debit card shuffle and basically throws my card and receipt at me. Next comes the four OJ's. I only ordered three. Total time now is about twenty minutes. As I watching them put this order together, it doesn't seem right. I actually look at the receipt, and it is not what I ordered. I don't want to upset this person any more. Quite frankly, I'm afraid she will rip me out of my car and make me cry. So I say,"Ma'am, I know you are busy and all, but this is not what I ordered. I'm sorry" She snaps,"You sure? You was the only credit card I had." I told her what I had ordered, She snaps back,"When I axed you cash or credit, you say cash." I tried to let her know that nobody asked me anything about cash or credit. She is now raising her voice arguing with me. "I did too!" she said. Now, I'm the one that's pissed. I refuse to argue with this waste of oxygen. I would of just demanded my money back if I didn't think it would take another twenty five minutes for this absolute blubbering idiot figure out how to accomplish it. She now says," OK, dis what we gonna do. Ima give you back one dollar and fotey sick cent. You give me back one own juth (orange juice). Den, you gonna pull up and Ima do yo orda up." I pull up and Mrs. Mike get out and goes inside. She told me, they still didn't have the order right. They had to redo it three times. Thirty five minutes after we pulled in line, we were back on the road. We were still short three hash browns and ended up with an extra sandwich. Wow.

We still made it to the event on time. Mrs. Mike shed about six minutes off of last year's time. We had a great brunch at Flat Top Grill. We also got to come home and visit with family and watch some football. All in all, not too bad of a day.

Now that you've made your racial assumptions. The woman I was dealing with at McDonalds was white. It's not about color, it's about culture.

A weekend of the best kind

Yesterday, I had the most fun I've ever had golfing. It was my church's 17th annual golf outing. Church outings may not seem like much fun but this was different. I golfed with Union Man Dad and Mini Mike. This was the first time the three of us have golfed together. Three generations. Pretty cool. Mini Mike even won the "closest to the pin" hole. He was so happy and proud. Union Man Dad and I just beamed with pride, as well. So very cool. I hope to have some pics soon. We had some great fellowship afterwards at the church. We grilled some steaks, had a couple of beverages, and swapped some stories. Good time.

This was four years ago in the back yard. Union Man Dad gave Mini Mike his first set of clubs

Today, I woke Mrs. Mike up and she took off on a little run. I went out to shoot some arrows while Mini Mike rode his dirt bike. He broke his chain and I couldn't hit a buffalo at ten feet. So we went in to watch hunting shows and football. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Mrs. Mike's little run was her 20 miler. I promised her some Cracker Barrel when she got back. She kicked ass. She may not be fast, but she just plugs away and never gives up.  Cracker Barrel is always good. After we got back, we all settled on the couch for some lazy time. I rubbed her feet and knees and life just continues to be good. So lucky, I am.

Scatter Blast

So, it has been two weeks since the last post. There has been lots to write about and not much time to do it.

Labor Day weekend was a blast. The whole family, including Mom & Dad, went to "The Farm" and the weather could not have been nicer. The Farm is a small piece of Heaven owned by my friends father-in-law. It is about forty acres sitting next to a forty acre pond about two hours from our house.. There are only two other property owners with land surrounding this pond. It is beautiful and seclusive. We try to get out and camp there five or six times a year, weather permitting. We also hunt there in the fall and winter. Anyway, about thirty five people camped Labor Day weekend. Kids got to swim, adults got to relax. We all got to do some fishing and we played some "Minute to Win it" games. A good time was had by all.

An old friend of mine contacted me and asked me if I would be interested in contributing to his blog. It is a full blown political blog. As interested as I may be in my conservative politics, I don't think I'm cut out for political commentary. I will probably say no for now. We will see what the future brings. I  need to take some grammar and punctuation classes.

I had to waste a personal day this week. I actually was sick. I had a sinus infection of the worst kind. My head felt like it was filled with lead shot and I had a low grade fever. I didn't see any sense in getting everybody else at work sick, so I stayed in bed for about twenty hours and stuck it out for the rest of the week. Feeling better, but, Mrs. Mike is catching it. This is NOT helping her marathon training. She's got twenty mile this Saturday, then she starts to taper down for the race on Oct. 10. Wish her luck.

Friday, my friend says to me, "What are you doing tomorrow?" I reply, "I dunno, why?" He says, "Wanna go to Eldora?" "Um, OK."   So, we leave about noon on Saturday for the four hour drive. We had a great time. I haven't been there since 2004. For those of you not familiar, this is the best dirt track in the world. That is FACT, not opinion. Since 2004, Tony Stewart bought the facility and improved perfection. So freakin cool. This weekend was the 40th Annual World 100 dirt late model race. There are usually over 200 cars trying to qualify for a spot in one of the six heat races. Each heat has twenty four cars and is 15 laps. No more boring details. Let me tell you, Billy Moyer and Scott Bloomquist put on an absolute dirt car clinic. I don't think these guys are human. The only clue was Billy Moyer had to race his way in to the main event through the last chance race. He started the main event 23rd and won! He is so smooth. You know, when you were a kid, and Grandpa would shift that old "three on the tree" Ford pickup and not spill a single drop of beer from the freshly opened can between his legs. That kind of smooth. Only these guys are doing it at about 140 m.p.h. and throwing it sideways and steering with their right foot at about 110 m.p.h. The only thing cooler on this track are winged sprint cars. I can't even begin to describe that.



Yep, that's a split arrow. Just like Robin Hood.

 My bow is tuned and ready. Six inch groups at 25 yards. Good enough for me. I cut and glued my own arrows this time. Not a big accomplishment, but it is my accomplishment. They came out nice and they fly straight and true. I'll keep shooting about a dozen or so arrows every night to keep the rust away. Opening day for deer is Oct. 1. It's time to stock the freezer. I hope my hunting gear still fits!

An old friend of mine gave me a plug a while ago. I call him Chief. His blogs are great and you will never regret checking in and reading his stuff. He had a nice write up about him in his local paper. He is one of the good ones your old goofy uncle tells you about. I have never met a better human being than he. Please check him out here. I plan to tell some stories of vacations that he took me and Surly on. Chief was a huge part of my adolescent life and one of the most influential persons of my past and future. Thank you, Sir.

Thanks for reading.

Trigger words

I think it's human nature to remember the good things from your childhood. It's funny how much you can forget about, and then one day, something pops into your head and it brings a smile to your face. This happened to me the other day. The word was Gooch. I heard someone say it on the radio.

As an only child of a single mother, I had the privilege of spending a lot of time with close relatives. I really do mean privilege. My mother was working her ass off to provide us our "three hots and a cot". We had lots of great relatives that were willing to help us out, all the time. They all helped me to become what I am today. So, if you don't like me, it's their fault. That was a (bad) joke.

I have lots of fond memories of my Aunt Diane. She is always so gentle and sweet and always full of love.. When she laughs, you can't help but to laugh with her. I can't remember ever seeing her mad. When I was a wee little boy, she used to take me everywhere. I will always remember her taking me to have picnics in the woods behind her house. Some may say this wasn't very manly. I disagree. She didn't know it, but, she was teaching me manliness by exposing me to some of the things I love most to this very day. I love the outdoors. Food always tastes better outside. I love to just sit and "shoot the breeze". What is better than sitting outside talking to a beautiful woman while eating some good food? I'll say, "Not too much".

I've had lots and lots of influences in my life. This was just one. I can't wait to remember more.
Thanks Aunt Diane. I sure do love you. Thank you.

Oh yeah, Aunt Diane had a cat named Gooch.

Nine

Thanks to my great friend Matt Mengel for this photo.

Nine years ago. Wow. Nine years ago Mrs. Mike and I got hitched. I'm not sure what to say. I love her the same as I did then. We have a beautiful son, a couple of (pain in the ass) dogs, and a cat that won't die, a house, and two cars. Complete with all the debt you could ever need. Yep, it's the American Dream. We've been through some really crazy times, some really hum-drum boring times. The best thing is, we are going through it all together. Wouldn't ever ask for anything more.

Hoof and Mouth

Something odd happened to me today. I'm not sure this is gonna come out, but, here goes.

Oh boy! Where to start? I'll give a quick rundown of the layout of our men's room in the warehouse. This little room is one of the most poorly designed I have personally seen. The person that drew up the floor plan should have every license they  hold stripped away from them. Yes, even their drivers license. This person is quite possibly too dumb to operate a motor vehicle. OK. Enough with personal thoughts for now. The whole room is maybe 7' X 12'. The door swings inward with the hinges on the right side. Immediately, the sink is too the left. While standing at the sink, you will be clobbered by the door if somebody else tries to come in. They have managed to squeeze in two urinals and a sit down stall in this room also. I am a pretty wide dude. I have to shrug my shoulders to fit in the urinal stalls. Seriously, I feel like Tommy Boy when he is changing clothes in the airplane bathroom. If there were three grown men in this room at the same time, nobody could move.

Today, I wanted to use this restroom. I opened the door and almost knocked the person on the other side of the door to the ground. He almost fell, not because I opened the door too fast or with too much force. He almost fell because he was standing on one foot!!! He was standing on one foot because he was washing his disgusting, dirty, stinky, gross, effing FEET in the sink!!! It took a second for me to catch on. At first, I apologized and then I realized what was going on. He said, "It is OK, come in.'" Like I was interrupting him. I just freakin' lost it. I'm sure I went a little overboard. I just couldn't get over it. This person was a truck driver that was picking up at the warehouse. I let it be known that wasn't a gosh darn truck stop! I have to wash my hands and face in that sink. What in hell would make someone think this is acceptable? I mean, come the F on!! If he would have asked if there was a place to wash his feet, someone might have shown him the shower room. Again, this isn't the Flying J. It is a working warehouse.

I am so sick and tired of having to be tolerant of every other religion and culture and their traditions and customs. It's not that I don't want to accept and/or respect them. I personally think that some cultures have a better handle on some things. I won't bore you with a butt load of examples (eye for an eye). I just don't understand why I (the conservative Christian American) have to be so tolerant, all the while, every other religion and culture refuses to respect and/or accept my beliefs. That is very un-American. Very, dare I say, liberal. Same thing, isn't.

 Enough politics. Just ask someone nicely for something. You'll be surprised how often you will get what you asked for. Just because you think it's OK, doesn't mean it is OK.

One more thing. Mrs. Mike thinks she looks like Miss Jamaica. While I think Mrs. Mike is a beauty, I don't think she looks anything like her. Miss Jamaica isn't as pretty.

Shootin' blanks

I sat down to write tonight. That is all...

Smile for me Dad!! Show me your grill!!

I came home today and walked up the back steps and looked at the broke ass grill for about the 100th time this summer. Something finally snapped in my head. I thought to myself, F this, you should be grilling tonight! That is exactly what you are gonna do. Go get the cussin' thing before you change your mind.

Last week we got our "bonus checks" from work. It is actually a "share of the profits". They keep telling us how strong our company is, and how we are making money hand over fist. We are putting money in the bank because there is so much of it, we don't have anything else to do with it. Why is it the profit share only gets smaller? Don't get me wrong. I am in no way complaining. If it was $3.67, that's $3.67 more than I had when I woke up that day. I am no fool. There are people that are gonna go to work tomorrow and find out it is their last day. I would trade in the cash tomorrow if someone could assure me that I will have my job for the next ten years. Anyway, the point was supposed to be, I had the check and I should use it to buy something I normally wouldn't. So, I did, and now Ima grillin'.

I have not grilled with charcoal in about fifteen years. I figured I should start with some burgers. I don't think I could live with myself if I ruined a $10 steak. They came out perfect and Mini Mike said it was the best thing he has ever eaten. He might have been stretching it a little. He likes to make people feel good. He succeeded. Good kid, he is. After all is said and done, I'm happy with my new piece of manliness and so are Mrs. Mike and Mini Mike. I can't wait till tomorrow to try something else.

Nothing new with the "Rattle Can Restoration" of the tractor. I'll spend a couple hours on it this weekend. For those of you that don't know us personally, Mrs. Mike is training for the Chicago Marathon. She has a 16 miler this weekend. That will be a perfect time for some garage time. I sure am proud of her. She is doing it for nothing else but the challenge. Good for her.

I kinda shot to all fields on this one. I'm a ramblin man today. That was really dumb. I'm done now.

Thanksgiving in August?

this photo has nothing to do with the post

I mentioned the other day, I cleaned the garage. Mrs. Mike came out and looked through the "garage fridge" and found a turkey breast in the back of the freezer. She thawed it out, rubbed some seasoning all over it and cooked that bad dude in the crock pot all day. Hello triptophan. Home made taters & home made gravy. That was some good schtuff. I had to go out to the garage to work on the tractor. Otherwise, my big ass woulda been planted on the couch and snoring by 6:30.

The tractor project is poking along. I'm getting something done every day, however small it may be. Mini Mike has been helping out too, between his (self proclaimed) 3rd gear pinned speed sessions around the yard and back forty. I will have some pictures soon. Yesterday, I found out the hard way, a 3400 r.p.m. wire wheel + knuckle = ouchsonofabitch!  I'll take a picture of that too.

I'm feelin' it.

My good friend Surly gave me a plug today and wrote a rather interesting post. It seems, that he too, has been struggling with these blog thingies. As I said before, this is my third attempt. The first one was OK but I thought I wanted one that I could spout off about my conservative politics and all around hatred for the way our country is spiraling down the crapper. (I promised Mrs. Mike I would not do that to our blog) Well, the only thing that did was make me an angry bazz-turd. It was also becoming a chore to sit down in a small room with a chair that reminded me of work and write something interesting. I just decided to delete them both and start over some day. So after talking about it, and saying I would do it a hundred times, I started a new blog and decided it would be fun to just ramble about things. If only three people ever read it, so be it. This time, I look forward to writing stuff down and I feel good about it. Oh yeah, I got a laptop, so I can sit on my comfy couch instead of the "computer room".

some gratuitous cursing

Thanks again Surly!! Not only for the plug, but, you actually inspired me to do this. You will have to take the full blame for this one.

Bucket Lists

sorry about the quality

Most people have a "bucket list". You know what it is. It's pretty cliche. I call it " The list of things I want to do before I take the big dirt nap." I will have to post that list someday. Not today.

I do have a bucket list. Mine is not like others, though. Mine is more like a "list of buckets". I have a bucket for the car washing stuff, one for the tools I need to put away, one with John Deere parts, a couple with toys, etc. I even have an empty bucket I use for cleaning the gutters, but it mostly gets used as a seat or step stool or as a stand to set other buckets on. So, I have decided to do something about the buckets and the all around mess I call my garage.

Until about four hours ago, we could not park more than one car in our three car garage. I don't mind parking in the driveway, except for one thing. There is a maple tree and a walnut tree that hang over the driveway and make a mess of everything. I also found a work bench under an enormous pile of stuff. Now, I can work on the work bench. I put a bunch of stuff out by the road and within an hour someone else was happy with the crap that was driving me bonkers. Good deal.

Again, sorry about the quality

One of the things on my list "otiwdbitadn" is to restore the John Deere 110 that Mrs. Mike's grandpa left me. It is a 1969 model. I told Grandma I would get it done before she dies. I don't see her dying soon, but, I do want to get it done for her. It is uncovered and started. Here we go.

Now we're cookin' with gas. Not.

I have recently become interested  obsessed with purchasing a new grill.

In a previous part of my life, I was in the military and was station on the North Carolina coast. I bought my very first gas grill from Wally World for about $90 and cooked proudly for a couple years. One evening, while watching Hurricane Fran bend the neighbor's pine trees over to the ground, I noticed a grill rolling down the street. That sucks for whoever owns that grill is what I was thinking. Then, you guessed it, I realized that was my grill tumbling and sliding down the street. So, I went out in the hurricane and got my grill back. It still worked after it dried out and I put the lava rock back in it. In fact, It still worked, without a single part being replaced, 5 years later when I gave it to a friend. They don't make em' like they used to.

Mrs. Mike and I have been living together since just before the millennium. We have owned three gas grills. Two of them were purchased (for over $275 each) and one was given to us after I refused to fix the second one. The third has turned me to a Gas grill hating SOB. One can only replace so many burners, knobs, grates, heat exchanging flavor plates, and regulators before you say, "Cuss it!!" and go back to charcoal. I love the taste of charcoal. I hate the taste of lighter fluid. So I have decided to hunt for The Performer.  I have been dropping all kinds of obnoxious hints to Mrs. Mike. If she buys it, I won't feel guilty for spending a bunch of money on something I want. (yes, we have a joint checking account) We have an acquaintance that works at a local hardware store. He can get us last years model for about$220. I sure do hate to drop that kinda dough, but there are very few parts to break and it has a lifetime warranty. All I really need to do is keep the bag of charcoal dry and a little propane bottle handy and we are cooking in twenty minutes.

Hopefully, I will be cooking Labor Day Steaks on an "already seasoned" new grill.

Opening Day

OK...So here we go again.  This is my 3rd attempt at a blog.  The 1st was my wife's. She was using it to lurk other blobs, so I stole it and started writing. I then attempted my own. I tried to be funny with the title and it was a big fail. It seems I was trying too hard and it became a chore to write. I deleted both of them and I have decided to try again.

I want this to be a "diary" of some sorts. Diaries are not meant to be public, I know, but I like to share almost everything I do or have. So I will have some fun and I hope others might enjoy reading about the crazy stuff that happens to me.

I will write about work, family, friends, church, just life type things. It won't always be pretty. I WILL use some colorful language. If this bothers you, please don't read. I WILL NOT be using real names.
IMPORTANT!!! The views expressed in this blog are MINE. They DO NOT represent anyone else, only me.